I am not as strong as Wonder Woman

I have started a new program at the gym.  I warm up, lift weights, do core and stretch.  It takes me about 1 1/2 hours right now, and I will slowly add to it a bit.  I think 2 hours would be about the maximum time I would like to spend in one gym session.  My goals right now are to get in better shape, as I really am feeling out of it.
Years ago I also started a gym program, back when I was still wanting to get into the trades.  I wanted to get strong, as I thought strength would be important in a job like this.  This is true, of course, the trades tend to be physical jobs.  Back then, when I would tell people I wanted to go into this line of work, they would tell me I wouldn't be strong enough.  So I decided to start going to the gym.
I did get stronger when I started apprenticing.  I got large arms with muscles I was proud of.  Being young, it didn't take long to develop strength.  Of course there were always guys who would be stronger than me, but I managed to do everything I had to with the muscles I had.  I didn't have to be Wonder Woman.
Now I have a job that doesn't demand quite as much from me physically as my old construction jobs did.  I am not in as good shape anymore, and my arms aren't nearly as strong.  Taking some time off to raise kids didn't help either, of course.  In that time off I didn't go to the gym.  I always did something to keep in shape, but for quite a few years my exercise of choice has been yoga.  It's great for flexibility and for core strength, but the big muscles are sadly gone.
I don't hear the old "you aren't strong enough to do that job" much anymore though.  In the past I have had people just plain disbelieve me when I told them what I do for a living, saying there was no way a woman would be "strong enough" to do it.  This could be because there are more tradeswomen around, or maybe because I am working in a different type of industry now.  Also, I don't always tell people I meet exactly what it is I do.
I am enjoying my gym sessions now, though I am still getting used to them.  I need to adjust the weights, as the ones they suggested to start with are rather light, but I am doing this slowly.  Being a good 20+ years older than the last time I worked out like this, I don't want to overdo it.  I am however looking forward to my new muscles.

A busy day

Women's lives are busy.  We seem to fill them up easily with work, social obligations, family, entertainment and recreation.  At least this is my experience.
I work full time, have a family to take care of, try to exercise regularly, try to visit at least one friend a week, try to see the rest of the family every week, do an online course (math 11 - pre-calculus), and attempt to write a blog entry once a week.  I know other women do much more in a week, but I struggle to keep up to this.  I do a large portion of the household work, all the shopping, laundry, cooking (I do try to get my husband to bbq some meat once a week, and my son to cook once a week too - but I still have to do the vegetables and most of the cleanup), all the baking, meal planning, bathroom cleaning, homework policing, social planning, dealing with doctors and other health care (one of my kids gets sick a lot), and the scores of other invisible jobs that happen to keep a household running.  Not that the men of the house do nothing - it just seems like it.
I wouldn't complain, though, would I?
I actually love having a busy life.  It is a juggle, and I find myself running around a lot, but overall it is satisfying to always have something to do.
Today, for instance, being a day off work, I want to: write my blog entry, visit my mom, do my online lesson, visit my good friend and maybe go for a walk with her if it stops raining, do the grocery shopping, do laundry, check my kid's throat and possibly take him to the clinic (this takes up a big chunk of time if deemed necessary), bake treats for the week.  I would also like to go to the shopping mall, I want to look at some boots for me.
Then I have to deal with dinner.
I'm sure I won't quite get all this done in one day, but I'll try.
I wonder what the guys have planned today?

Frustrations

Here I am, a weekend off, and I am finding myself unable to relax.  I wanted to get started on my  math course, only to find my password isn't working.  Just a little glitch, but it'll have to wait for Monday to get fixed.  My local pool is down, so I'll have to travel further if I want to go swimming - probably won't though.  My yoga class doesn't start for a couple of weeks.  I have an appointment with a personal trainer this week to start a weight training program, but I might have to cancel it as I now have to take one of my kids to an appointment on the same day.
Last week was the start of routines again, with school and work starting again.  It's the end of our holidays, always a bit of a sad time.
September has always been a bit of a contradiction for me.  It's the start of the new school year, the weather cools down suddenly, fall fashions arrive, the leaves start to fall.  I always find myself wanting to cling on to what's left of our much too short summer, while at the same time I feel a change in the air and a desire to do something different. It's usually rather exciting.
This year, though, I am feeling less excitement than usual.
If anything, I'm feeling impatient, restless.  Frustrated, even.
I am wanting a change, but the changes are coming very slowly.
Hopefully as we get into the regular routines, things will fall into place.  It seems so much of my life is dependent on other people - mostly my kids.  If things go well with them, my life goes smoothly too.
As for right now, I guess I'll just have to catch up on chores so I can have time during the week for my various activities and appointments.

Math is cool

Now that I have made my decision to get more education, I have been thinking about where to start. I have high school graduation, and trade school.  In high school, I took math and English 12, and some sciences, but finished with mediocre grades.  As a teenager school was not my favorite thing.  I have always liked learning, but I had trouble with the social aspect.  I was very shy and quiet and found it hard to fit in, and was not very happy in school.  Later, at trade school I did very well, getting very high marks.

I have decided that some high school refresher courses will be the best place for me to start.  So on Friday I talked to a local distance education school. I think that a go at your own pace would suit me best right now, as I am working full time and need the flexibility of being able to work at a course in my limited spare time.  I chose this particular school because I am familiar with it (my son did some courses there when he couldn't attend school), it is close to me, and it is free for adults.  Perfect!

The counsellor asked me what my plans were.  I told her that I want to get more education but don't really know what yet.  I told her that I'm interested in many things, from women's studies to engineering.  Rather than rolling her eyes, she said that what I'm thinking sounds like a great combination.  She then suggested I start with math refreshers, specifically math 10.  I completed math 12, but it was a long time ago.  I hate to admit it, but it was almost 30 years ago I was in high school! I'm sure the curriculum probably has changed some, and I know I have forgotten quite a bit since it is something I don't use every day. 

So, I am excited to be starting my new course, and hoping I don't find it too different from what I learned back in the day.

A change or a rest

Lately I have been restless.  I have been fidgety, distracted, sometimes irritable.  I feel the need to make some changes, to do something different.  We had a family reunion recently, and I met cousins who have doctorate degrees, cousins who do interesting things.  I want to be more interesting!
I find I'm at a point in my life where I am thinking of changing direction, adding a new element to my life.  I don't know what or where, but I want to explore my possibilities.
My kids don't need me as much as they used to, other than to drive them around and to remind to do their chores and homework. Oh, and to do laundry, lots of it.
My job is pleasant enough, but I just find that lately I want more. More what, I'm not sure yet.
I need more exercise, a different routine from what I've been doing.
I have also been thinking of taking courses in something. I have been looking at taking math and english courses, or a photography or philosophy course, or possibly learn another language.  Obviously, I haven't got a clue what I really want to do yet.
My plan to start with small things, and explore my options.  This week I am going to the gym to get a new exercise program from a personal trainer.  I am also getting a new haircut.  Small changes, but it's a start.
Then I will start looking at the continuing education calendars at the local college.
I am also going to make a commitment to do a blog post every week.
Wish me luck!

Joining the fight

I sometimes read some of the feminist blogs, and admire these women for the way they speak and write on women’s issues.  I read up on the history of women’s struggles for equality, and I am grateful for the strong women who fought for our rights.

After reading these inspiring stories, I tend to feel that I should be doing more. More writing, more protesting, more something.

Instead, I tend to avoid confrontation, living my life quietly doing what I do, without making waves.

I go to work, take care of my family, try to fit in some exercise, try to eat right. That’s about it.

I don’t belong to any women’s groups, not even one of the women in trades groups.

Should I be active, giving voice to the inequalities I see, find a cause to fight for?  Or should I be content living my life and striving to make it better for me? After all, I’m a busy person with a full-time job and a family.

I know that if the women before me had not fought, there’s a possibility I wouldn’t have the right to vote, or to own property, or go to university.

Should I be out there, helping others, speaking up against things I perceive as wrong? Or is living my life as the best person I know how to be enough?

Maybe when the kids grow up, I will start protesting and go to university. After all, all kinds of things are possible.

How much space do you take up?

I was standing at work the other day talking with some co-workers, and for some reason I was thinking of my posture.  This actually happens often, as I know that women and men talk and move differently, and I am usually conscious of trying to appear not too feminine or too masculine. Taking on too many masculine traits can put people off, yet being too feminine and soft seems to make people not take you as seriously. There’s a fine line there that I find challenging to stay on.

I was reading this post  last night, about the space women take up. It caused me to think more on the images women and men try to create, and how it affects how we are perceived.

Thinking back to my stance at work, I have noticed that I tend to stand with my arms crossed in front of me.  The men don’t stand like this often, so when I think of it I uncross my arms.  Then I don’t know what to do with my hands, so usually I put them in my coverall pockets and remind myself to stand up straight.

The article linked to above mentions the fact that girls and women are trained to take up less space and be smaller than men. It makes the point that being bigger and more muscular gives men more space, strength and power.

How we are perceived by others directly affects us. At work we want others to know we are competent and capable, strong enough to do the work required of us. We need our body language to reflect this.

I don’t stand around talking a lot at my work, usually I’m busy doing something that keeps my hands and mind busy. If I had a different job that involved more talking and meetings this would likely be even more of an issue to think about.

Related posts:  How do others see you?