I am not as strong as Wonder Woman

I have started a new program at the gym.  I warm up, lift weights, do core and stretch.  It takes me about 1 1/2 hours right now, and I will slowly add to it a bit.  I think 2 hours would be about the maximum time I would like to spend in one gym session.  My goals right now are to get in better shape, as I really am feeling out of it.
Years ago I also started a gym program, back when I was still wanting to get into the trades.  I wanted to get strong, as I thought strength would be important in a job like this.  This is true, of course, the trades tend to be physical jobs.  Back then, when I would tell people I wanted to go into this line of work, they would tell me I wouldn't be strong enough.  So I decided to start going to the gym.
I did get stronger when I started apprenticing.  I got large arms with muscles I was proud of.  Being young, it didn't take long to develop strength.  Of course there were always guys who would be stronger than me, but I managed to do everything I had to with the muscles I had.  I didn't have to be Wonder Woman.
Now I have a job that doesn't demand quite as much from me physically as my old construction jobs did.  I am not in as good shape anymore, and my arms aren't nearly as strong.  Taking some time off to raise kids didn't help either, of course.  In that time off I didn't go to the gym.  I always did something to keep in shape, but for quite a few years my exercise of choice has been yoga.  It's great for flexibility and for core strength, but the big muscles are sadly gone.
I don't hear the old "you aren't strong enough to do that job" much anymore though.  In the past I have had people just plain disbelieve me when I told them what I do for a living, saying there was no way a woman would be "strong enough" to do it.  This could be because there are more tradeswomen around, or maybe because I am working in a different type of industry now.  Also, I don't always tell people I meet exactly what it is I do.
I am enjoying my gym sessions now, though I am still getting used to them.  I need to adjust the weights, as the ones they suggested to start with are rather light, but I am doing this slowly.  Being a good 20+ years older than the last time I worked out like this, I don't want to overdo it.  I am however looking forward to my new muscles.

A busy day

Women's lives are busy.  We seem to fill them up easily with work, social obligations, family, entertainment and recreation.  At least this is my experience.
I work full time, have a family to take care of, try to exercise regularly, try to visit at least one friend a week, try to see the rest of the family every week, do an online course (math 11 - pre-calculus), and attempt to write a blog entry once a week.  I know other women do much more in a week, but I struggle to keep up to this.  I do a large portion of the household work, all the shopping, laundry, cooking (I do try to get my husband to bbq some meat once a week, and my son to cook once a week too - but I still have to do the vegetables and most of the cleanup), all the baking, meal planning, bathroom cleaning, homework policing, social planning, dealing with doctors and other health care (one of my kids gets sick a lot), and the scores of other invisible jobs that happen to keep a household running.  Not that the men of the house do nothing - it just seems like it.
I wouldn't complain, though, would I?
I actually love having a busy life.  It is a juggle, and I find myself running around a lot, but overall it is satisfying to always have something to do.
Today, for instance, being a day off work, I want to: write my blog entry, visit my mom, do my online lesson, visit my good friend and maybe go for a walk with her if it stops raining, do the grocery shopping, do laundry, check my kid's throat and possibly take him to the clinic (this takes up a big chunk of time if deemed necessary), bake treats for the week.  I would also like to go to the shopping mall, I want to look at some boots for me.
Then I have to deal with dinner.
I'm sure I won't quite get all this done in one day, but I'll try.
I wonder what the guys have planned today?

Frustrations

Here I am, a weekend off, and I am finding myself unable to relax.  I wanted to get started on my  math course, only to find my password isn't working.  Just a little glitch, but it'll have to wait for Monday to get fixed.  My local pool is down, so I'll have to travel further if I want to go swimming - probably won't though.  My yoga class doesn't start for a couple of weeks.  I have an appointment with a personal trainer this week to start a weight training program, but I might have to cancel it as I now have to take one of my kids to an appointment on the same day.
Last week was the start of routines again, with school and work starting again.  It's the end of our holidays, always a bit of a sad time.
September has always been a bit of a contradiction for me.  It's the start of the new school year, the weather cools down suddenly, fall fashions arrive, the leaves start to fall.  I always find myself wanting to cling on to what's left of our much too short summer, while at the same time I feel a change in the air and a desire to do something different. It's usually rather exciting.
This year, though, I am feeling less excitement than usual.
If anything, I'm feeling impatient, restless.  Frustrated, even.
I am wanting a change, but the changes are coming very slowly.
Hopefully as we get into the regular routines, things will fall into place.  It seems so much of my life is dependent on other people - mostly my kids.  If things go well with them, my life goes smoothly too.
As for right now, I guess I'll just have to catch up on chores so I can have time during the week for my various activities and appointments.

Math is cool

Now that I have made my decision to get more education, I have been thinking about where to start. I have high school graduation, and trade school.  In high school, I took math and English 12, and some sciences, but finished with mediocre grades.  As a teenager school was not my favorite thing.  I have always liked learning, but I had trouble with the social aspect.  I was very shy and quiet and found it hard to fit in, and was not very happy in school.  Later, at trade school I did very well, getting very high marks.

I have decided that some high school refresher courses will be the best place for me to start.  So on Friday I talked to a local distance education school. I think that a go at your own pace would suit me best right now, as I am working full time and need the flexibility of being able to work at a course in my limited spare time.  I chose this particular school because I am familiar with it (my son did some courses there when he couldn't attend school), it is close to me, and it is free for adults.  Perfect!

The counsellor asked me what my plans were.  I told her that I want to get more education but don't really know what yet.  I told her that I'm interested in many things, from women's studies to engineering.  Rather than rolling her eyes, she said that what I'm thinking sounds like a great combination.  She then suggested I start with math refreshers, specifically math 10.  I completed math 12, but it was a long time ago.  I hate to admit it, but it was almost 30 years ago I was in high school! I'm sure the curriculum probably has changed some, and I know I have forgotten quite a bit since it is something I don't use every day. 

So, I am excited to be starting my new course, and hoping I don't find it too different from what I learned back in the day.

A change or a rest

Lately I have been restless.  I have been fidgety, distracted, sometimes irritable.  I feel the need to make some changes, to do something different.  We had a family reunion recently, and I met cousins who have doctorate degrees, cousins who do interesting things.  I want to be more interesting!
I find I'm at a point in my life where I am thinking of changing direction, adding a new element to my life.  I don't know what or where, but I want to explore my possibilities.
My kids don't need me as much as they used to, other than to drive them around and to remind to do their chores and homework. Oh, and to do laundry, lots of it.
My job is pleasant enough, but I just find that lately I want more. More what, I'm not sure yet.
I need more exercise, a different routine from what I've been doing.
I have also been thinking of taking courses in something. I have been looking at taking math and english courses, or a photography or philosophy course, or possibly learn another language.  Obviously, I haven't got a clue what I really want to do yet.
My plan to start with small things, and explore my options.  This week I am going to the gym to get a new exercise program from a personal trainer.  I am also getting a new haircut.  Small changes, but it's a start.
Then I will start looking at the continuing education calendars at the local college.
I am also going to make a commitment to do a blog post every week.
Wish me luck!

Joining the fight

I sometimes read some of the feminist blogs, and admire these women for the way they speak and write on women’s issues.  I read up on the history of women’s struggles for equality, and I am grateful for the strong women who fought for our rights.

After reading these inspiring stories, I tend to feel that I should be doing more. More writing, more protesting, more something.

Instead, I tend to avoid confrontation, living my life quietly doing what I do, without making waves.

I go to work, take care of my family, try to fit in some exercise, try to eat right. That’s about it.

I don’t belong to any women’s groups, not even one of the women in trades groups.

Should I be active, giving voice to the inequalities I see, find a cause to fight for?  Or should I be content living my life and striving to make it better for me? After all, I’m a busy person with a full-time job and a family.

I know that if the women before me had not fought, there’s a possibility I wouldn’t have the right to vote, or to own property, or go to university.

Should I be out there, helping others, speaking up against things I perceive as wrong? Or is living my life as the best person I know how to be enough?

Maybe when the kids grow up, I will start protesting and go to university. After all, all kinds of things are possible.

How much space do you take up?

I was standing at work the other day talking with some co-workers, and for some reason I was thinking of my posture.  This actually happens often, as I know that women and men talk and move differently, and I am usually conscious of trying to appear not too feminine or too masculine. Taking on too many masculine traits can put people off, yet being too feminine and soft seems to make people not take you as seriously. There’s a fine line there that I find challenging to stay on.

I was reading this post  last night, about the space women take up. It caused me to think more on the images women and men try to create, and how it affects how we are perceived.

Thinking back to my stance at work, I have noticed that I tend to stand with my arms crossed in front of me.  The men don’t stand like this often, so when I think of it I uncross my arms.  Then I don’t know what to do with my hands, so usually I put them in my coverall pockets and remind myself to stand up straight.

The article linked to above mentions the fact that girls and women are trained to take up less space and be smaller than men. It makes the point that being bigger and more muscular gives men more space, strength and power.

How we are perceived by others directly affects us. At work we want others to know we are competent and capable, strong enough to do the work required of us. We need our body language to reflect this.

I don’t stand around talking a lot at my work, usually I’m busy doing something that keeps my hands and mind busy. If I had a different job that involved more talking and meetings this would likely be even more of an issue to think about.

Related posts:  How do others see you?

Why don't more women enter the trades?

Why don’t more women enter the trades?  The percentage of women in my occupation  is 2%.  Other trades have a higher percentage of women, but they are still quite low.

When I was in trade school, I was told that getting an apprenticeship would be pretty much impossible.  Companies just don’t want to hire women to do their mechanical work, they said.  I was told there were no women millwrights (not true, I know there were others).  Even though I did not receive much support from my instructors, I still stuck with it – stubborn being that I am.

There are programs now that encourage women to enter non-traditional work.  There are more women working in industry. 

So why do so few of us consider working a trade?

I can think of a few reasons:

Fear of not getting a job

Fear of not being accepted

Fear of being harassed

Fear of not being able to do the work

Fear of not being strong enough

Fear of being labeled a feminist or a lesbian

Fear of ridicule

A strong dislike of getting dirty

Family, friends, or boyfriend/husband objecting 

Getting dirty is bound to happen in jobs like these, so that is a valid concern.

People discouraging us from our desires is unfortunately a common thing, and one that we can have a hard time overcoming. We have to decide who makes our decisions for us.

The rest of the reasons I came up with are all to do with fear of something unpleasant happening.

A common saying is: don’t let fear and good sense hold you back. It is meant as a joke.

When people let fear control their lives, they fail to accomplish things. Worse, they fail to even attempt them.

I decided to go after what I wanted when I entered trade school, and if I didn't get an apprenticeship, then I would be in the same place as I was before. Not the end of the world.

What other reasons are there that prevent women from considering the trades?

What are the requirements for your job?

There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody.

~Florynce Kennedy

Florynce Kennedy was a remarkable woman.  She was a civil rights advocate and a feminist. She was flamboyant, and did not hesitate to speak her mind.

I love this quote. I’m thinking it would be cool to put this on a business card, to hand to people who  who say they don't believe me when told what I do for a living.

Why didn't I think of this?

I have rather large hands and feet for a woman.  Not really large, but not dainty either. It is a good thing, actually.  My hands are strong and can grip things readily.  My feet easily fit into men’s shoes and socks.

I came across this article about a woman who couldn’t find work boots in colours she wanted. She obviously is an enterprising sort and has gone into the boot business.

Rosies workwear is another company selling coveralls for women. I haven’t tried either of these companies’ products.

When I started in the trades there were no work boots and coveralls for women, not in the stores I shopped at. There was also no internet either.

I was lucky that the men’s boots fit me comfortably and I could always find my size. The coveralls were a different story, and they have always fitted me awkwardly.

I never considered the possibility of going into business in his obviously untapped market of women’s workwear.  I would not have known how even if I had thought of it.

The market for these type of items is growing as more women work in industry. The work wear stores routinely carry women's steel-toed footwear now.

I still wear men’s work boots though, they fit me better.

How common is sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment.

It’s an ugly thing.

It is way too common.

However, I want to point out that for every man who has made a comment meant to bother or hurt me, there are more who have been supportive and would stand up for me.  I have great respect for these men of integrity and self-confidence, who are not afraid to speak up when they see something they consider wrong.

When I first was hired in the union and given an apprenticeship, there were no other women working in the union I joined. I know many of the membership had misgivings about the wisdom of this decision. Most of them had probably never worked with a woman before.

I knew this, of course, as I went to my first jobs.  I knew that the guys would be looking at me with curiosity, wondering if I could “handle” the job. I was younger then, and cheekier. I found that using humour would put most of the guys at ease.

I was lucky, and didn’t have too many problems with the people I worked with over the years.  I have read other women’s accounts of their experiences in the trades, the harassment they endured, and some are really terrible. Some of these women left their jobs and are scarred and bitter about what happened to them.

I can’t help but wonder about the type of men who would harass someone this way.  I realize of course that there are people in this world who are not good.  There are social misfits, bullies, sadists, sociopaths and other nasty personalities in every culture the world over.  They are rare, though. More common is the guy who observes bullying behaviour and does not interfere. The news is full of accounts of victims of harassment or violence where the onlookers did nothing to stop it.

I have read how these harassers pick their victims, trying to find people who are easy to bully. I realize this is probably how it is, but I’m uncomfortable with this theory as it seems to put the blame partially on the victim. 

Are we more likely to be victims because we’re women?

Are employers leery of hiring us because we’re more likely to be harassed?

I think this is more likely the truth than the excuse that we can’t do the job because we’re women.

In the news, we always hear about the negative things that happen.  I would love a statistic about how many women work in predominantly male jobs and have few or no problems.

Unfortunately, I think more women than not have experienced harassment at the worksite.  

Is there a women's bathroom I can use?

What is it about women’s bathrooms that seem to be so problematic to employers? I have heard companies claim that to hire women, whey would have to build women’s facilities, and that it would be too expensive.

That was when I first started working in industry. In workplaces where there were only men, there would only be men’s toilets. This has been used in the past as a reason to not hire female workers.

What a way to discriminate against women!

On my first job, the construction workers had a commercial toilet trailer. It was separated in two sections, one side for men and the other for women.  However, since the men weren’t used to women on jobsites, they used both sides.  Usually they used the men’s side to urinate – I assume it had urinals to encourage this – and the other side if they wanted to sit for a while.

I was young then, and I found that if I didn’t drink, I could last a shift without having to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t do that now. Besides, it’s unhealthy.

I found out soon enough that all the large workplaces did have female workers – in the offices. Usually I was able to use their facilities, and I was always careful not to leave a mess behind.  Or at least, not too much of a mess.  I get much dirtier than your average office lady when I work.

Now whenever I work at a new site, the first thing I do after getting my tools to the site is to scope out the bathrooms.

The people who work permanently in some of the places I have been to can get quite proprietary about their bathrooms.  Some of the sites would not allow construction workers to use their bathrooms at all, and the contractors would have to bring in trailers or those nasty portable chemical toilets.  One mill I worked at allowed the men to use their facilities, but the women’s toilets were always locked. It took me a while, but after talking to the supervisor there I managed to get access.

The temporary workers like me got to know the various policies in the places we would be sent to often, and worked around these idiosyncrasies.

People can be strange when it comes to their bathrooms.

The toilet issue has gotten much better over the years.  There are regulations on how many toilets a workplace needs. Most places also have toilets for handicapped people as well as separate men’s and women’s toilets now. Having more women working in industry has improved the situation tremendously.

The women I have met who have worked in the trades for many years usually have similar toilet stories.

If anyone else has has had these experiences, please feel free to share.

We're going to the bar. Care to come along?

When working out of town, as happens frequently in my profession, workers often unwind by going for drinks after the shift ends.  Especially construction workers.

I have also joined in the socializing this way.  After all, what do you do in the evenings when you’re far away from home and not working.

I have witnessed more than one tradesperson, slurring his words and staggering, trying to find his way back to his room. I have even helped a few so they wouldn't get lost.

There can be hazards to too much social drinking, especially with people you work with. More so when you’re a woman. You don’t want to give the guys too many reasons to talk about you the next day. There's no need to stay alone in your room every evening either, though. 

These are my common-sense guidelines for going to the bar with co-workers:

1 – have your own transportation.  This is a must in my book.

2 – go with people you know quite well and trust. This is especially true if the drinks are to be in someone’s room.  In a public bar, especially a nice one in a good part of town, you can be more relaxed.

3 – limit your alcohol, and always be in control.  This is a good idea at all outings, work related or not.

4 – if things get rowdy, or you feel uncomfortable for any reason, leave.  This is also applicable to all occasions.

5 – don’t go somewhere you’re uncomfortable going.  The men seem to like going to strip clubs when out of town, something I always avoid.

6 – make sure to eat dinner.  I’ve known co-workers who start drinking right after work, and don’t stop to eat.  Not a pretty sight.

When I first started in construction, this kind of imbibing was very common.  Lately I have been to jobs where very few of the guys drink much, if at all.  I remember one memorable dinner in a restaurant where every member of a fairly large crew of mechanics drank nothing stronger than tea.  It was unusual.

Star Trek, siblings and diversity

I am a Star Trek fan.  Not a huge fan, I couldn’t answer the trivia questions most Trekkies can, but I always enjoyed the original series.

So I was interested to read that William Shatner just had his 80^th birthday.  He is still working on television, is writing a book and keeps active.  Well done!  I hope I will be as active when I’m 80.

When I saw this article, with an interview with the actor, I just had to send a link to my brother, thinking he would be interested too.

Turns out my brother isn’t as big a fan as I am.

We exchanged a few emails in which he declared the characters in Star Trek as two dimensional with little or no room for personal expression, and I extolled its modernity in portraying a diverse crew with visible minorities, women and even aliens.  This was, after all, made more than 40 years ago. I mentioned that here we are in the 21^st century, and still struggling to create diversified and equal workplaces.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I ended my last email to him with the line: For its day, Star Trek went where no man had gone before.

Overdid it, didn't I?

 My patient and supportive sibling answered me by suggesting that maybe I should do a post on my blog “about this whole thing of a black woman radiocontroller and analyze this whole equality in the workplace thingy".

I decided to take him up on it, and this post is inspired by my brother.

I have to thank him.

I will be posting more on workplace diversity, after all this is a subject that directly affects me. 

How do others see you?

How do people see really see us? 

I think it depends on what part of our persona they see. 

I know the person I am at work is different from the person I am when, for instance, I’m taking my kids to school.

I am different at parties than I am at family gatherings.

I am of course the same person, but I am also different.  I dress differently, and act differently.

At work I wear work clothes, coveralls and a hat and boots.  I joke with the guys, tell anecdotes, I am more abrupt, I let my opinions be known in a straightforward way. I think I even walk with a longer stride and stand slightly more upright when at work.

When I’m at the school, I wear casual clothes, my hair is down, I wear a hat only if it’s freezing out, and casual shoes or runners. I joke with the other moms, usually about something funny the kids have done.  I try not to interrupt but to listen and give encouraging comments.  I give my opinions to them as suggestions.

At home I’m a parent and a wife.  I take care of everyone, make meals, pick up after kids, do the laundry, give rides and advice. I wear whatever is most comfortable, usually an old pair of yoga pants and a top I don’t mind getting bleach on.  I joke with my family, but only in a way that won’t hurt any feelings.

I am basically the same person, with the same values, sense of humour, and interests.  But I do have different aspects of myself that come out depending on the situation I’m in.

People who only deal with me at work would not realize I act somewhat differently elsewhere.  I’m sure they wonder how my husband gets along with me sometimes.

People who meet me socially find it hard to see me as an Industrial Mechanic.

I sometimes feel like I am more than one person.

Maybe we all are.

Start with a single step

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

I was reading this post at Women's Lunch Talk on getting motivated. There are times when I need a push to get moving. Dropping pessimism and taking baby steps are two of the points listed that I always keep in mind.  Actually, I’m a very optimistic type, a “glass half full” type of person, so that part is easy for me.  It is those first baby steps that get me. 

The Lao-tzu quote above is a favorite of mine, and one I have often repeated.  It is so easy to become paralyzed by the enormity of a task that we just avoid starting it.

I have been thinking of writing a blog for a few years now. This year I finally started reading how to articles, and making lists of names and topics for my new blog.  Choosing a name was difficult, and I rejected every one I came up with for weeks.  Finally, I told myself that if I didn’t get started it just wouldn’t happen.  I had to go ahead and pick a name, even though the “perfect” one had not come to me.  After that came the challenge of writing something. After all, I’m not a writer, I’m a tradesperson.

So now, I’ve taken my first steps to becoming a blogger. 

This is a new journey for me.

Lunch time in a trailer

Lunch break provides time to eat, rest from our activity, and provides time to socialize.  People sit together and talk and joke as they eat their lunch.  Lunchtime conversations can get quite involved, and boisterous.  They might be quiet and reserved.  It all depends on the people who are sitting together.

Some people go for a stroll, or a brisk walk after eating.  Others sit quietly and read or do a crossword puzzle.  I know some people who like to gulp their meal and then have a 20 minute nap.

I usually sit with the rest of the crew in the designated eating area – it is often a trailer, but it could be a lunch room, a mess with a kitchen, a coffee shop or restaurant, even just a handy seat outside if the weather is good.  Working in many different worksites and industries provides variety.

I usually enjoy the conversations with the various co-workers I find myself with.  The different characters, their interests and problems and jokes always cause me to marvel at the diversity of the crew.  Most people I have met are decent, considerate people.

The discussions are varied. Sometimes I join in, other times the topics are subjects I’m not interested in, such as sports, and I have nothing to contribute. Then sometimes there are men who like to brag about their conquests, or tell tales of how badly their ex-wives treated them, or joke about dumb things their wives/girlfriends have done.  If I’m on a job where this happens a lot, I'll often end up just bringing a book or newspaper in to read.  At some jobs I read more than at others.

Sometimes I suspect that the men feel restricted in their conversations by my being there, and it makes them uncomfortable, and careful of what they say. Especially when it’s a large crew.

It’s easy to feel the odd one out. 

I imagine how different it would be in a more traditional workplace, where I would sit with women.  What would the conversations be like?  What would we talk about?  Would it be easy and pleasant, or would there be power struggles and politics? I imagine myself talking and laughing with other women, though I know that this would quite possibly not be the case.  I'm not used to working with many women, not used to the ways of female conversations.  I have heard many stories of all-women workplaces, and how they can be difficult to deal with.  I'm not sure how well I would fit in.

The importance of words

How important are words?

Very.

The topic of how language can undermine women has been discussed extensively.  This is why there is an effort to change our language, and make it more unbiased and inclusive for everyone.  This is referred to as gender neutral language.

There are many tutorials on the web on how to write and express oneself in this politically correct way.

Government offices have information on how to write gender free. 

Work descriptions have been changed to be more neutral.

We now have a mail carrier instead of a mailman, a police officer instead of policeman, a flight attendant instead of a stewardess.

Most of the trades job titles are not gendered:  Industrial mechanic, welder, millwright, fitter, machinist, electrician, carpenter, plumber.

The dilemma comes when I’m asked if I’m an apprentice or not.  I’m not.

The accepted term for someone like me is journeyman.  That doesn’t seem right for me, after all I’m not a man. Am I a journeyperson?  It’s no good if I’m the only one using the term. A journeywoman? Nope, don’t like that.

I usually just tell people that I have my ticket.

Descriptive words can also be tricky.  One woman wrote of an incident where her boss described her as contrary.  There's an interesting way to describe someone.  It brings up memories of the old nursery rhyme:  Mary, Mary, quite contrary.  Not very professional, is it?  You wouldn’t describe a man with that word.

I have been described various ways. My showing up in mostly male worksites and camps to work was considered brave (or maybe just dumb). One of my co-workers used to say I had moxie. I didn’t mind, but I always thought a man wouldn’t be described that way. Another co-worker described me as: she has balls.  Which I find particularly funny, since if I did there would be nothing unusual with my working there. But I understood what he was getting at, as moxie or spunky or feisty were not strong enough words.

I was also once described as abrasive.  I was an apprentice, and I had made some smart-aleck remark to one of the journeymen.  I don’t remember the remark, but I do remember one of the others who heard me calling me abrasive.

At least it is gender neutral, and much better than being called contrary.

Come to think of it, he was quite politically correct.

What do you do after sex?

What do you do when you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation? I’m not talking about something that you would consider obvious harassment, but rather the common stuff that pops up rather often. For instance, someone you normally get along with asks you a question you don’t want to answer, or says something to put you on the spot, or cracks a joke you don’t like as it is racist or it demeans women.

My preferred way to deal with such things is to say something funny.  Most people have a good sense of humour, even men.  Actually, most men have a great sense of humour, and appreciate a funny come-back.  These can be hard to come up with quickly, though.

When I was in trade school, some of the fellows were talking about smoking.  As I passed them, one of them asked me if I smoked after sex.  Obviously not a proper thing to ask me, and he knew it.  “Well I don’t know, I’ve never looked” I shot back.  They all laughed at that, and the wise guy who asked laughed the longest.  Now, this is an old joke and I didn’t have to think what to say, it just came spontaneously.  I usually have a harder time coming up with something that quickly.

This happened over 20 years ago.  Back then, employers were very wary of hiring women precisely because of this kind of thing.  I could have complained to the school, however that didn’t occur to me. It would have done me no favors anyway, but rather would have branded me as someone who can’t get along with the guys.  Comments like that seemed to be more common then, possibly because people are now more aware and harassment policies are stricter, or maybe also because I’m older and have more seniority now.

Another way I deal with this kind of thing is to just ignore comments I don’t find worthy of a response. 

There are times I do make a more serious statement, telling them that their joke would offend some people, and why.  I don’t often do this, but when I have I’ve noticed the guys refrain from saying the type of thing again.  At least to me.

Mostly, though, I resort to humour.    

If I was asked today by one of my co-workers if I smoked after sex I would answer the same way.  Then I would tell him to smarten up, because that is an unacceptably personal question.

The way we talk

I have been reading a book on the differences in conversation between men and women.  It is an interesting read, written by a Professor of Linguistics.  It talks about how men talk to each other, where conversations often are negotiations in which they try to achieve and maintain the upper hand.  Women, on the other hand, tend to use conversations more as a way to seek and give confirmation and support.

The book is called “You Don’t Understand” by Deborah Tannen.  The author explains that many men engage the world as an individual in a hierarchical social order in which they are either one-up or one-down.  To women, however, life is a community, and they struggle to preserve intimacy and avoid isolation.  The book gives many examples of the differences in women’s and men’s styles. Tannen also talks about why men seem to find it easier to talk in front of many people, and use talk to claim attention, where most women are more comfortable in more intimate type of conversations.

I see this a lot at work.  There’s always someone telling stories – they may be funny, or of the bragging sort, or just jokes – to the other men.  They tell these stories to get the other men’s attention.  I am more comfortable talking one-one with someone, as opposed to this “hey, everyone, listen to my story” type of exchange.

Having different talking styles can lead to different ways of interpreting what has been said.  I recently listened to a man in an artistic field, ask questions to a female artist about their work.  The female artist answered, disagreeing on a point he mentioned.  He asked her more questions, getting her to explain more of her view.  Afterward, I was surprised to hear the comments from the other women who were listening.  Apparently they thought he had been badgering her, and congratulated her for holding her own so well.  I found this odd, as I had seen the exchange rather differently.  I thought he was engaging her as an equal, and asking her tough questions because he considered her opinion to be valuable.

It is important that we understand each other in order to have a tolerant work atmosphere.  Women should not be afraid of conflict, but should learn to stand up and be heard.

Why I like my coveralls

              Image by Bird in the Hand


I like my coveralls. 

They make me look more like all the other workers.

They are comfortable.

I never have to think about what I’ll wear that day.

Nobody cares if they’re stained.

They can get as dirty as can be, and it’s ok.

They keep me warm.

They have lots of pockets for my stuff.

Deep pockets, it’s amazing what you can carry in them.

I look good in blue.

They fit the same even if I’m having a “fat day”.

They’re kind of shapeless.

They don’t emphasize my feminine shape.

They make me look more like all the other workers.

Makeover at the mall

Today I spent some time wandering around our local mall, as I waited for the auto shop to change out my snow tires for my regular ones.  As I was wandering and browsing, I was approached by one of the makeup saleswomen.  She invited me to her stool, and gave me a makeover.  

I haven’t had one of these since I was in my late teens and my mom took me to a makeup counter.  It was long ago, and I’m sure it wasn’t as involved as the one I had today.  I do remember mom buying me the blush they recommended back then.  Thanks, mom!

After the makeover today, I was quite pleased with the way I looked. The saleslady did a good job,  applying products with a light hand and choosing nice springtime colours for me.  I even bought a couple of things.  It was fun.

I don’t wear much makeup, and none when I work.  Ever.

As a matter of fact, when I get ready for work, I never do anything feminine.  No makeup, no jewelry, no fragrance.  I keep my hair pulled back.  I wear baggy clothes, and the first thing I do when I get to work is put on my even baggier coveralls.  I finish this off with men’s workboots.  I feel different enough being the only woman at a worksite (though lately there have sometimes been other women working also), that I’m not comfortable drawing attention to my feminine side.  I’m not sure if this is a good idea or a bad one.  It’s just what I do.

I have been doing this for so long, that I actually feel a little nervous at a makeup counter, or hair salon, or fancy shoe store.  Today, the saleslady was so good and friendly that I know I’ll be seeking her out again if I ever manage to use up the products I bought.  

Which might take a while as I will probably only use them on days I’m not working.

What do you do for a living?

I don’t always tell people I meet what I do for a living.  Often, I just give the name of the company where I work if they ask.  Usually they don’t go on to ask what it is I actually do there.  They probably just think I work in one of the offices or something.

This eliminates the risk of having to answer a bunch of questions such as why did you pick this job?

Of course, if someone is genuinely interested, I will elaborate.  I am not always comfortable talking about myself a lot.  Something to do with my natural shyness, I guess.

Sometimes, I am put on the spot by having one of my friends introduce me by proudly saying “meet my friend Steve, she is a ……. (welder, pipefitter, millwright, mechanic, logger…they often don’t get the words right).  When I’m introduced this way to a woman, I might get a polite smile and a nervous “hi”.  They quite often don’t know what to think or how to respond, or know what exactly the job description even means.  Which means I then have to try to make a connection so we can have a real conversation.  Most men, however, will turn their attention to me and say something like “I don’t believe you”.  They will usually ask to see my hands.  My hands are not as calloused and dirty as one would expect from a job like mine.  I wear gloves often, and when I’m welding I get no grease on them at all.  Sometimes I do get them quite dirty, but usually I wear nitrile gloves for oily and greasy jobs.  Upon seeing my “soft, clean” hands, the men then inform me that I’m not what my friend has told them I am.

Now, how should I respond to that?

I find myself wanting to say something rude.

Not inclined to make a fuss in front of my friend, though, I usually mumble some excuse for not having worse hands than I do.

How stupid is that?

I have been thinking of responses that would get me out of this without seeming too rude.  Something like, “I don’t really care what you think” is what usually comes to mind.  Or else, “are you calling my friend a liar?”  However, these don’t fill the criteria for not being rude.  Mind you, they’re rather more polite than what first comes to mind.

I will just keep my hands in my pockets from now on.

What should I wear...........

I have been reading fashion blogs lately, trying to improve my style.  I find it fascinating reading.  Women in all sorts of professions work hard to make sure their working wardrobes are just right.  They want to be casual, but not sloppy, or put together but not too dressy.  There are different phrases to describe the looks they are going for – smart casual, business casual, formal business.

For myself, I just want to look better when I’m not working.

Because, of course, when I’m at work I wear coveralls.

Coveralls do exactly what their name implies:  They cover all your regular clothes.

I also wear steel toed workboots, and quite often safety glasses and a hardhat. Sometimes I also wear a soft hat to keep dirt out of my hair.

My “handbag” is a backpack.  I put my lunch in it, maybe a book to read, spare socks and whatever else I might need.

I choose what I wear walking into work with care, though.  These are the clothes I wear under my coveralls.  For years, I shopped for these wardrobe workhorses at thrift stores.  The criteria are simple:  The pants need to be roomy and comfortable enough to bend and squat and crawl in.  They also had to have good deep pockets.  The t-shirts and regular shirts have to be big also, no restricting clothing.  All these items are to be of a dark colour that doesn’t show too much dirt and grease.  Oh, and the most important of all:  only 100% cotton!

I prefer my work clothing to be of modest cuts, I don’t like to show too much skin. I also don’t like figure revealing or tight clothing for work.  However, a few rips, tears, frays and holes are acceptable, as long as I’m decently covered.

I’m not sure what the appropriate phrase for this style is.  

International Women's Day!

March 8 is International Women’s Day.  It’s actually the 100^th International Women’s Day.  There are events taking place in many countries around the world to celebrate this.

There are numerous articles in newspapers and on the web about women and how we still have a long way to go to reach equality.  Of course, some parts of the world have a pretty bad record of women’s rights, but there are countries that have made positive changes to improve equality in the sexes.

An interesting statistic is that women perform 66% of the world’s work, produce 50% of the food, but earn 10% of the income and own 1% of the property, according to UNICEF.

An often cited fact is that many women still earn less than men for equal work.

What I found surprising is the wage differences in educated men and women.  Though higher levels of education increase earnings for both men and women, at the highest level of education the wage gap between the genders is the largest.

At the jobs I’ve worked since entering a skilled trade, the wages are the same for tradespeople regardless of gender.

First Day At Work

I don’t really remember much about my first ever day as a new apprentice.  I do remember how I felt though:  nervous, and apprehensive. 

As a child, I was extremely shy.  My family moved a lot, and I remember having a lot of first days in schools where I didn’t know anyone, let alone have any friends.  I would walk into classrooms full of strangers, and sit next to kids I didn’t know. I would sit quietly, trying to not be noticed. It was scary, but I guess it was good training for me. 

So, there I was that day, with my little toolbox, at an industrial worksite full of men.  I had never met the foreman, and only knew one of the journeymen there.  I also knew the other apprentice who was there for his first day, but I think he was as nervous as I was and didn’t really talk to me much.  Somehow I suppressed my desire to flee and walked in there and introduced myself.  I then sat in the lunchroom and was quiet, but I knew that I would not go unnoticed.

I have had many more first days on the job since then.  I worked from a hiring hall for years, where we would be sent out for mostly short term jobs.  I was getting hired and let go regularly.  The first days got easier, almost routine as the years went by and I got to know more of the people that worked the same way and belonged to the same hall as I did.

I still am somewhat shy, and can get nervous when put in the spotlight.  I don’t like drawing attention to myself, and dislike people watching me.  However, it’s somewhat easier now that I have a trade qualification ticket and years of experience and training behind me.

It is hard starting a new job, and most people feel a little nervous on their first days.  It is even harder when you work in a place where you are a minority.

Why did I become an Industrial Mechanic?

“So, really, why did you get into this kind of work?” 

This is a question I have been asked countless times.  I admit I have yet to find a satisfactory response.  I have tried to answer it as truthfully as I could.  I have tried to give the answer I think the person asking is looking for. I have also just answered it by making a joke.  Somehow none of these responses seem to satisfy the other person.  The joke especially drew puzzled looks.  When asked how I got into my profession, my reply once was “I lost a bet.”  I haven’t used that line again.

The truth is, there is no one reason why I chose this road.  I am not totally clear myself why I chose this instead of, for instance, nursing.  Nursing is one of the professions that men seem to think would have been a good choice for me, and they have asked me why I didn’t pursue that career.  I can say that I always found the way the world works quite fascinating, and I actually do like mechanical things.  I am not put off by the oils and greases, the heat and the noise.  I like looking at something and trying to understand why it does what it does, or doesn’t do what it is supposed to.  However, this does not explain why I chose a career that does not really welcome women.  Did I look at it as a challenge?  I don’t think so, but maybe in a way.  Was I trying to prove something?  Well, no.  Was I trying to be more like a man than a woman?  I actually like being a woman, so I must say no.  It has been difficult at times, and rewarding at times.  For sure, it has never been boring.  I do hate being bored.

Actually, when I decided to pursue this path, I didn’t really think my choice was that strange.  A bit out of the ordinary for a woman perhaps, but so what?  I was just doing what I found interesting.  I remember thinking “why not give this a go, it’s got to be better than working in an office”.  Then, I found out that quite a few people thought what I was doing was strange.  Including my classmates and teachers!  I think sheer stubbornness and determination are what kept me there.

The reason any woman makes a choice like this must be complicated.  I like to ask other trades women I meet why they made their choice.  Unfortunately, I don’t meet a lot of women in non-traditional fields, though there are more now than there used to be when I first started. 

I would like to hear from other women in non-traditional fields and find out how they got where they are today.

Introduction

I am starting this blog as a way to explore the challenges of being a working woman in a mostly male worksite.  Quite often women, and men, have trouble dealing with the unique issues that come up when in a non-traditional workplace.  There is, of course, the obvious issue of harassment, but even in a supportive worksite there are situations that come up which can be difficult to understand how to deal with.   I am looking at the different ways women and men communicate, the way we tackle tasks, and deal with problems.  I am interested in the hierarchy of the workplace, and how to improve advancement opportunities.  I am also interested how to make a workplace more pleasant, and comfortable to be at.  I hope to learn more about people, working relationships, and myself as I write.